For the past 2 days I had been reading a lot about aneroxia and bulimia. They are eating disorders. I hate disorders. In my brain, everything must be orderly. But the world is a desorderly place. And, so, people allow the disorder of the world to invade their bodies and their minds. The devil. That is what Satan is. A disorder king. He finds all kinds of devices to destroy us. We are all made in God's own image. Everything that is called sin is a transgression against the magnificent project the Almighty has proposed through our lives. Fornication, adultery, gluttonary, rage, lack of discipline -- these are all attacks on God. But we are Satan's ultimate target. Our weapon against him is our walk with Jesus.
My Jesus, my Light, my Path. Every once in a while I fear I might not walk closely to my God, and fall away into a sinful life. But then, I must remind myself that I can only live today. There is just today. I must do what is good and right today. To me, yesterday and tomorrow truly do not exist. And, they do not exist, indeed. The former existED, and the latter NEVER existed.
Even though I am not out about, I must watch my soul so it will not be permeated by impurities. It is not easy. If I walk this way, I will be called a fanatic. And if I choose to kick God to the curb by ignoring him, I am an atheist. I am tired, restless. I need to upload my pictures onto the Walgreens website so I can have them developed.
And fear! Fear is paralysing. I can't live fearing this or that. The only being I want to fear is my maker. Oh!\
The website I was reading upon EDs was http://www.2medusa.com/ . It was an outstanding resource for those who want to be informed, and for those who are struggling with their vices. Yes. Those sinful acts are vices and addictions.
Good night.
About Me
- Troth Aude
- I have created this space to share whatever comes to my mind. In school, there was such an emphasis on writing, and even blogging. I take this will be a place for me to rant, vent, teach, to love and to be loved, to hate and to be hated. Furthermore, it will help me to cope with the emptiness that comes from living away from my family. I am a foreigner married to an American. We love each other and are committed to our little family. I plan to blog at least twice a week, and I hope folks will be interested in what I have to share. I think a blog is a place where people who are like minded can meet and mingle, and keep their distance at the same time. I am usually thinking of God, family, fitness, eating healthily, and being a good friend. I think my posts will be worthwhile. Well, follow me, and get to know my mind, and my world.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Thoughts Tonight
My head swarms with ideas during the day. But, at night, when I am worn out after a long day and night keeping up with my little Padawan, and Daddy, all of my good ideas of what to write about evaporate from my mind. Holy Guacamole!
One thought that keeps ringing in my brain is a verse from a song by BNegao e Os Seletores de Frequencia. Take a listen:
My brother told me about these awesome rappers who have lots of wisdom to share. BNegao says we need to prioritize our priorities, and that friendship is one of the things that will weigh heavy when we die. He is a spiritist, so he believes in reincarnation, I reckon. I try not to give ears to such beliefs, nevertheless, sometimes these philosophies as quite appealing and explicative.
And, oh! Today I was reading one of my favorite author's blog, and he disclosed that he loves writing because it didn't come to him easily, and because most people didn't think he would be able to do it. I am taking that to heart. I felt very uneasy about blogging before. I felt inadequate, incapable, ignorant, and simply stupid. But I don't feel that way anymore. If Avi can do it, I can do it, too.
Oh, yes! Discipline. That is a value I am living by. I tell myself often that I give myself the gift of discipline, exercise, endurance, and fortitude -- all of which are mental, physical, and spiritual. We must exercise our spirits, bodies and minds! Which reminds me that I need to get started getting the Light Weigh stuff together. The Light Weigh is the next topic I want to write about. So, stay tuned for another chapter of this blog.
One thought that keeps ringing in my brain is a verse from a song by BNegao e Os Seletores de Frequencia. Take a listen:
My brother told me about these awesome rappers who have lots of wisdom to share. BNegao says we need to prioritize our priorities, and that friendship is one of the things that will weigh heavy when we die. He is a spiritist, so he believes in reincarnation, I reckon. I try not to give ears to such beliefs, nevertheless, sometimes these philosophies as quite appealing and explicative.
And, oh! Today I was reading one of my favorite author's blog, and he disclosed that he loves writing because it didn't come to him easily, and because most people didn't think he would be able to do it. I am taking that to heart. I felt very uneasy about blogging before. I felt inadequate, incapable, ignorant, and simply stupid. But I don't feel that way anymore. If Avi can do it, I can do it, too.
Oh, yes! Discipline. That is a value I am living by. I tell myself often that I give myself the gift of discipline, exercise, endurance, and fortitude -- all of which are mental, physical, and spiritual. We must exercise our spirits, bodies and minds! Which reminds me that I need to get started getting the Light Weigh stuff together. The Light Weigh is the next topic I want to write about. So, stay tuned for another chapter of this blog.
FREEDOM!!!!!!!!! I Deleted My Orkut and Facebook Accounts!
I decided to delete my social network accounts. I have come to the realization that the people who matter to me and who love me keep in touch with me. I have tried to keep in touch with folks I have met along my journey on this earth for years, but it was all on me. So, I am just throwing the towel, and letting it all go. I have spent way too much time reading stuff from people who really don't give a damn about whether I live or die. So, to the social networking world, I committed suicide tonight. Yippie! Being a ghost never felt so good.
As I often tell one of my only friends, friendship is an investment. You have got to spend time on it. And time is money. So, I will stick with my few friendships.
As I often tell one of my only friends, friendship is an investment. You have got to spend time on it. And time is money. So, I will stick with my few friendships.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Maria-Mole: Com Amor Para Minha Irma
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| Baba segurando a nossa criacao, |
Colega, essa maria-mole e' dedicada com amor a voce. Ela saiu uma delicia. Por falta de coco ralado, usei po de leite de coco que achei no mercadao coreano daqui. Colega, da' dor de cabeca se comer muitos pedacos. E' o acucar, com certeza. Eu vou por a receita depois porque o chefinho esta' depenando o nosso escritorio. Eu te amo tanto. Mostre pra mamae quando der. Te amo.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Social Skills
Ever since I got into college, more specifically, since I began taking education courses, the words of the hour for quite a while in my head were "social skill". If you don't have social skills, you're screwed. I often think of my brother-in-law who is said not to have them. He is a very honest, and blunt person. Because of such attributes, he lacks social skills.
It seems to me, having social skills means being able to lie and cheat without being noticed. It is like when someone is fat, and they ask you if they look fat, and you tell them: of course not! You look great! If you are able to lie successfully, then you have social skills. Another instance of having social skills is pretending to like people. You got to act like you like people you dislike, so everyone can get along under a shroud of hypocrisy and falsehood. Proverbs say that it is better to receive the truth from a friend, than to be constantly bathed in an enemies abundance of lies, flattery and deceit.
Quite honestly, I have a hard time being good at social skills. Lying doesn't come to me easily because of what I read in the Bible. The father of lies is the devil, and those who are in Christ are a new creation. How can we be a new creation and continue to lie and cheat? I just don't understand. Can someone help me to understand? I also don't see how someone can believe one part of the Bible but not the whole. Gotta go now.
It seems to me, having social skills means being able to lie and cheat without being noticed. It is like when someone is fat, and they ask you if they look fat, and you tell them: of course not! You look great! If you are able to lie successfully, then you have social skills. Another instance of having social skills is pretending to like people. You got to act like you like people you dislike, so everyone can get along under a shroud of hypocrisy and falsehood. Proverbs say that it is better to receive the truth from a friend, than to be constantly bathed in an enemies abundance of lies, flattery and deceit.
Quite honestly, I have a hard time being good at social skills. Lying doesn't come to me easily because of what I read in the Bible. The father of lies is the devil, and those who are in Christ are a new creation. How can we be a new creation and continue to lie and cheat? I just don't understand. Can someone help me to understand? I also don't see how someone can believe one part of the Bible but not the whole. Gotta go now.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Random Thoughts and Ramblings
Whew! I just got done folding the laundry, and tidying up our bedroom. I am very tired.
I just looked to see how many page views I had today, and, lo, I had 1 pageview! Woo whooo!! I have a faithful follower from Brazil. Or maybe, it was I who viewed my own page this afternoon. In Homer Simpson's words (of frustration and failure) "duhhhhhh!". Hahahah It helps to laugh at oneself.
Anyway, I was caught thinking about how I would react if I found out that my dad died. I honestly believe that I would have to get a grip of myself and not allow myself to beat myself up for not being in touch with him. I've done all humanely possible to keep a relationship with him. But, he succeeded in pushing me away to show off to yet another one of his whores. I am almost 30. I really don't need to put up with no tramp.
Baba seems to be getting better, though his chest still sounds bad. He's been in good spirits, and that makes me hopeful, content, happy. I love my son and my husband. Being around them lifts my soul up. I love having breakfast with Daddy and Zaao. Speaking of Zaao, I still miss Mamae, and my brother badly. It is hard to talk to them on the phone. I don't want to tire them out. I am so glad my sister enjoys talking to me. That helps me not to feel bad about being so far away from her. I love that girl.
Well, what else is new? Baba's birthday party is coming up. His Nana will have it at her house. Her house is a lovely place, specially her gardens. I do miss her. I am looking forward to seeing her soon. But first Johnny and I need to get all better. We musn't infect Nana.
I guess this is it for tonight. No pictures, no videos. I am very tired.
Oh! I can't wait to start exercising again. I am working on my push-ups. I had been doing modified ones for the past year. But I am working myself up to do them the regular way. One thing I do seek: to be disciplined spiritually, mentally, and physically.
I just looked to see how many page views I had today, and, lo, I had 1 pageview! Woo whooo!! I have a faithful follower from Brazil. Or maybe, it was I who viewed my own page this afternoon. In Homer Simpson's words (of frustration and failure) "duhhhhhh!". Hahahah It helps to laugh at oneself.
Anyway, I was caught thinking about how I would react if I found out that my dad died. I honestly believe that I would have to get a grip of myself and not allow myself to beat myself up for not being in touch with him. I've done all humanely possible to keep a relationship with him. But, he succeeded in pushing me away to show off to yet another one of his whores. I am almost 30. I really don't need to put up with no tramp.
Baba seems to be getting better, though his chest still sounds bad. He's been in good spirits, and that makes me hopeful, content, happy. I love my son and my husband. Being around them lifts my soul up. I love having breakfast with Daddy and Zaao. Speaking of Zaao, I still miss Mamae, and my brother badly. It is hard to talk to them on the phone. I don't want to tire them out. I am so glad my sister enjoys talking to me. That helps me not to feel bad about being so far away from her. I love that girl.
Well, what else is new? Baba's birthday party is coming up. His Nana will have it at her house. Her house is a lovely place, specially her gardens. I do miss her. I am looking forward to seeing her soon. But first Johnny and I need to get all better. We musn't infect Nana.
I guess this is it for tonight. No pictures, no videos. I am very tired.
Oh! I can't wait to start exercising again. I am working on my push-ups. I had been doing modified ones for the past year. But I am working myself up to do them the regular way. One thing I do seek: to be disciplined spiritually, mentally, and physically.
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